fake feelings, by ghostpalmss

fake feelings

by ghostpalmss

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1.	black hart / startup 01:54	buy track
2.	sharing lungs 03:23	buy track
3.	i want it all / incorrect password 02:28	buy track
4.	our secret place 02:32	buy track
5.	floating between droplets in yr eyes 02:50	buy track
6.	daydream 01:57	buy track
7.	nightdream 03:20	buy track
8.	looking at u looking through me 02:35	buy track
9.	neon lights 02:19	buy track
10.	celestial 03:32	buy track
11.	amantes sunt amentes 01:47	buy track
12.	stained glass 03:07	buy track
13.	into the day and onto the future / error detected 03:38	buy track
14.	goddess 02:11	buy track
15.	arketta 02:41	buy track
16.	would u like to save changes? 02:57	buy track
17.	fake feelings / user disconnected 02:12	buy track
18.	tru luv waits 05:26	buy track

about

here it is. said i’d finish it and i did. there’s a lot of story to this album but it’s old news. while i love the music i’ve created in this album, the feelings in actuality mean nothing to me. see, i wrote this album when i was convinced i was together with someone who was perfect; a literal goddess. this person convinced me that she was something i absolutely wanted to be a part of in every way.

well as time usually has it, things didn’t work out. i was blamed, with various different stories for what had happened and why it did. i beat the living fuck out of myself for a good amount of time, cut off everything and everyone, stayed alone.

it wasn’t until i had learned what had ACTUALLY happened that i realized how much of a fucking fool i was. fell for the same shit yet again. everything was there from the beginning but i was blinded. she had it all, and it all disintegrated within a split second from my mind.

so you see, i finished most of this is the black time period where i was hurting badly, when i actually felt for this person, and felt for her more than i felt for myself. looking back, i was finishing this for the made up person i fell in love with that never existed at all; a figment of my imagination, a playful idea bouncing between my mind and my heart.

"fake feelings", the title, was intentioned to be a play on what she had said to me - that my feelings seemed fake to her. it’s funny how it worked out because they were fake feelings all along, never meant for her but the made up persona she conjured up for me.